Abu El Abed Jokes collected by Abdallah Hayar
Abu El
Abed & Medicine
AA and EA went to visit the doctor for a regular check-up. When
they arrived at the clinic, the doctor asked EA to take her shirt off
so
that he could examine her.
AA: " Batel", mahada bichouf bzaz EA ella ana! (nobody
could check EA's breast besides myself)
Dr: Shut up... Do you anything about medicine?
AA: No
Dr: Then let me do my job!
The doctor started examining EA, then asked her to take
all her clothe off, and to lie on the table and spread her
legs.
AA: " Batel.... Batel", Ma bisir ya hakim!
Dr: AA do you know anything about medicine?
AA: No
Dr: Then let me finish my job.
The doctor seeing EA on the table, was not able to resist
himself, took his "air" out and started fucking EA. AA
quickly ran to the door and closed it hard.
Dr: AA, what the fuck are you doing now?
AA: I am just closing the door, because if there is
somebody passing by, who doesn't know medicine, he
would think that you are fucking my wife....
Abu El
Abed and AIDS (2)
After 10 years in the states during the war in Lebanon AA goes
back to Beirut. Sitting in the khwat al azzaz with his argille, Abu
Steif looks at AA and tells him that his face looks yellow and tired
and suggested to AA to go see a doctor .
Next day AA sitting by himself withdrawn and sunk in his
thoughts, Abu Steif passed by and asked AA
AS: what did the DR. Say?
AA: walla akal-nna khara... Ya Abu Steif... Dr. tells me
that I have aids...!
AS: mish maa Koul,!!!!.... Mish maa koul ya abou el
abed!!!.... Aids !... Ya rub ostor!...Sho min za man ya
Abu El Abed ?
AA looks back at as, and yells Back at him: fashar!....
Min za womaan mish min za man ya air......
Mayyo
It has been decided in Beirut that no one is allowed to speak in
any
other language other than Arabic.
AA wanted to buy a "mayyo" (swimming suit). He couldn't
remember how to say it in Arabic ? He went to AS's shop ala
raouche and asked him :
AA: Abu Steif ...
AS: Naam Maallmee...
AA: Ya AS, endak shi mastour lillouyour al bhour ?
AS: La wallah maallmee, endi ghtat lallqtat al chtat...
Antar
EA was hanging her clothe to dry when her underwear
fell down from the balcony unto the street. She asked
AA if he could get it , but he was too lazy to do so.
He finally got a great idea: He called "ANTAR", the
hunting dog.
AA: " ANTAR... come here". He then asked EA to lie
down naked on the floor. Then he asked ANTAR while
guiding him to EA's private area: "smell.... smell".
ANTAR almost lost consciousness from the bad smell
when AA asked him again with a firm voice: "
JEEBO.... go get it ANTAR"
Few minutes later, ANTAR came back with the grocer's
penis!
The Balcony
Mara Abu El Abed wanted to make love to Em El Abed
but his son Abed happened to be at home
AA: Abed my son go to the balcone and see
what is happening in the street
Abed went to the balcone and AA ballach
belmatch wsar yssalo chou am bissir bara ya
abed ?
Abed: jarna abu steif make love to em steif
AA: how did you know that ?
Abed: lianou steif waef metli ala el balcon
World
Championship (2)
4 years after the first "Ayr" Championship, another one
was held, and again AA was nominated to represent
Lebanon.
First the American, got up and performed his old Rodeo
tricks with his "Ayr" , with more vigor and more
difficult maneuvers.
Next the Frenchman came out and again, he did his
looping of his "Ayr" around his waste, by the time he
finished you couldn't see him anymore, it was all
around him...
Towards the end, they started looking for the previous
Champion AA, who was nowhere to be found.
Finally they heard a knock on the door, the opened it
and found a "Ras Ayr" with a note on it.
"Ani Wassel Boukra min Bayrut, AA"
World
Championship
The world "Ayr" championship was held in the US, and
of course they sent AA to represent Lebanon.
To start, the American got up took his "ayr" out made a
loop at the end and started showing off rodeo tricks
with it. Everyone clapped
Next the French came out and took his "Ayr" out and
started looping it around his waist and body. Everyone
clapped.
Finally it was AA's turn he went on stage , took down
his "Sherwal" and everybody started laughing at the
"Festok" that AA was showing.
AA raised his hand for silence, bent down and picked
out a small rock, and through it as far as he could, and
said "Jeebou" for his "Ayr" to fetch it.
Of course he won the Championship for Lebanon
The
Elephant
AA was passing by a very crowded hotel/restaurant
where there was a huge Elephant with a sign " If you
can get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet up in the air I
will pay you $1000, if not you pay me $10"
A lot of people tried but failed until AA came along,
paid his $10 and took 2 large rocks smashed the
elephants testicles with it. The elephant jumped in the air
with pain, and AA got his money.
The merchant seeing that his income was dwindling,
changed the sign to read " If you can make my elephant
shake his had left & right as well as nod up and down I
will pay $2000, if not you pay me $10, and again a lot
of people tried without success.
AA came along, and paid his $10 and started
whispering in the elephant's ear, after a while the
elephant nodded his head up & down, then AA
whispered againore, and the elephant shook his head
left to right, violently.
The merchant paid AA, but asked him how he had
managed it to get the elephant to do what he did.
AA replied that first he asked the Elephant if he
remembered him, the elephant nodded, and then he
asked if he wanted his balls smashed again, and the
elephant shook his head left to right.
Abu El
Abed the Barber (2)
A new client visited AA's barber shop. After welcoming
the new client, AA seated him on a comfortable chair.
AA started his stylish shave with the "mousse"... when
he got to the right ear area, he politely asked the
customer:
AA: Do you want your right ear?
Customer not sure what AA meant by that, he
reluctantly said: "Yes".
So AA with a quick move, cuts his ear and
gives it to him. AA continued his smooth
shave, and by that time the customer was
shivering from fear.
AA asked when reached the left ear: Do you
want your left ear.
The customer thought that he didn't wan to
make a mistake this time answered...."No".
And again AA in a very quick move, cuts his
ear and threw it in the garbage!
Automatiquement
AA was known to speak few other languages besides
Arabic so one day he was at ahwet el ajeiz having his
coffee, and one of his friends wanted to test him
Friend: ya AA sho yaanee automatiquement
AA: ma ba3ref
friend: wa law ya AA keef ma beta3ref
AA: OK for example isa 3endak a sister wa
heye sharmouta automatiquement inta akhou
sharmouta
At the
Restaurant
A sexy woman was standing in front of a restaurant
with a little white poodle on a leash. The poodle's name
was Bzezy (my breasts). She looked very worried.
When the restaurant door opened, AA came out & saw
her:
AA: Chou biki ya ammoura, Hai'tiK mohtara
Girl: Mr. AA ma baa'rif chou rah a3mil. Baddi
foot alal mat'am bass chou ba3mil bi Bzezy?
AA: Eh wala y himmik, footy, ana kint jouua
ma3 airy ou ma hada alli chee.
Abu El
Abed's 3 Marriages
After 3 months from AA's first marriage a disaster
struck and his wife died. When AA was asked about the
cause of her death, he replied: akalet mjaddara (she ate
mjaddara).
AA got married for the second time and 6 months later,
another disaster struck AA's household: sudden death
of his second wife. When asked about the cause, AA
replied: all I know is that she ate mjaddara yesterday.
AA got married for the third time, but this marriage
lasting two years. Suddenly AA beat his third wife to
death. When interrogated by the police why he killed...
He quickly replied: Ma Baddach takol mjaddara!
The Kiss
Abu Steif asking AA about the meaning of "Bawseh"
(kiss) in English..
AS: AA as you were in USA during the World
War 2, so tell me what is the meaning of
"bawseh" in English
AA: wallah ya AS sarla L kossa sneen w
sneen, w ana nseet noss L inglizee, bass
baddak tkool Kott, Kattoosh
3ish.. hayk shee ...
Abu El
Abed and Coco
AA came back from Africa with a huge black
man(Coco). When AA wanted to have sex with EA, he
called Coco and told him "Hawwi YA Coco" (freshen
the air).
AA: Mabsouta ya EA ...
EA: La ya AA
AA: Hawwi ya coco...
After a while AA said: w hallaa ya EA
mabsouta?
EA: LA ya AA
AA: Coco , Come and fuck EA.
And AA started Y hawwi
AA: hallaa mabsouta ya EA.....
EA: yes, ya AA
AA: Shift kif behawwo ya Coco...
Shooting
Competition
A shooting competition was organized between an
American, Russian and of course AA representing the
Arabs. A stadium was full of supporters, waiting for the
event of the year.
The competion started with the Russian, who told the
crowd that he is able to shoot an apple on the head of a
guy from a 200 meter distance... and that's what he did.
The people in the stadium started applauding the
Russian, so he walked proudly to the podium and said:
I AM RUSSIAN.
The american challenged the Russian by telling the
crowd that he is able to shoot a prune placed on the head
of a guy from 300 meter distance... and that is what he
did.
The crowd started screaming and applauding, so he
walked up to the podium and said: I AM AMERICAN.
AA feeling the pressure, wanted so badly to save the
honor of the Arabs, told the crowd that he is able to
shoot a needle placed on the head of a guy from a 500
meter distance. AA walked to center of the field and
with a very quick move, pressed on the trigger and
guess what... hit the guy's HEAD instead of the
needle... the crowd started BOOING AA, but
nevertheless, he walked proudly to the podium and said:
I AM SORRY!
Abu El
Abed Baddo Tabute
Lamma metet EA rah AA hatta yeshtiri tabute
seller: bass hayda ghali ya AA
AA: yahni kaddaich hakko
seller: bil mayteh 5000$
AA: tayeb w haidak kaddayche hakko
seller: haydak min khashab zein, bil mayteh
2000$
AA: tayb iza L mayteh min enna ??
Abu El
Abed Baddo Atra
AA chah nazaro (coudn't see any more), so he went in
hurry to the pharmacy and felt his way, he touched the
"beyaha" on her sidir and asked her:
AA: "baddy chee atra" (eye drop)
Biyaha: atra min hayk ya AA ma fi ...
Mad Cow
Disease
A local TV station was interviewing AA.
Reporter: What is your opinion regarding the
"Mad Cow" problem?
AA: Very serious problem (Wadh Khatir) and I
advise people not to eat meat (Battil!)
Reporter: we are on the air, Could you explain
where "Mad Cow Disease" comes from?
AA: Sure. Tsawary ino inti bakara
Reporter: Stop. Cut!! AA u can't say this on
the air
AA: Badik nifahim el-aalam wala
lak?....tsawary ino inti bakara
Reporter: OK...and
AA: ...kil yaoum fi wahad byelaab bi bzezik w
byehlouboun. Ma bitjini?
Em El Abed
Buys a Dog
AA had to travel outside Beirut, so he asked EA to buy
a dog to protect her during his absence.
EA went to buy a dogÉ
EA: I want a dog to protect me during my
husbands absence..
Salesman: I have this dog, German shepherd
at $1,500..
EA: its very expensive
Salesman: I have this bulldog at $1,000..
EA: its very expensive
Salesman: how much you have ya ukhteh?
EA: $200 only
Salesman: I can give you this dog..( He
showed her a small dog)
EA : but he is too weak to protect me
Salesman asking the dog :Dodo ... The door
Dodo jumped on the door and devoured it. EA
was pleased and went to AA with Dodo
AA: what is this?
EA: this is Dodo
AA: but this is a very small dog and can not
even attack bsayneh (kitten)
EA: no, the sales man said he can attack any
thing
AA: hayda Dodo ayreh!
Dodo jumped on AA's air and swallowed it!!!
Abu El
Abed, the Taxi Driver (4)
Abu El Abed w rayeh ala Faray, shaf sabiieh hadd
syiaritha, fetha ghata L-motor wel dakhneh (steam)
talaa...
AA: Chou demoiselle ? Hamieh ?
Sabiieh: Eh wallah ..
AA: wessayarah chou beha ?
Kalb Abu
El Abed
AA decided to buy a dog before going back to Africa to
hunt the infamous lion again, i.e. avoid being be fucked
again.
He decided to go to a DOG Expo where a seller tried to
convince him to buy a "Caniche" (little dog). AA
refused to pay any penny before trying the dog..
So he took a ball and threw it away, and called the dog
by his name to catch the ball: MAX Jeebo (catch it). The
dog stood on his back and start shaking his penis...
Abu El
Abed Screwing Em El Abed in the Nose
Em Steif was telling Em El Abed about her latest sex
position that Abu Steif invented.
EA: what is this new position?
ES: I bend down with my face up, and as
fucks me in my nose...
EA liked the idea and went to AA and asked to
do it up the nose.
Early next morning, EA knocked on ES door
EA (blocking her left nose with her finger) :
ES dakhlek annyakeh bel menkhar bethabbil
she? (does fucking in the nose cause
pregnancy?)
ES: no!
EA (sniffed in and took a long breath ): khay
rayyahtenah!.. (that's good, I'm relieved
now!..)
Abu El
Abed Learning Karate
AA decided to learn karate to defend him self against al
hawash, so he enrolled in a karate club.
On the first day, the coach asked him to take a step
towards him and hit him on the neck and brake it.
AA: asked the coach what the fuck is this?
Coach : this is maygeri...
The following day, the coach asked AA to take
a step towards to him and hit him on the leg
and brake it.
AA: asked the coach what the fuck is this?
Coach : this is mawashi geri...
The third day AA approached the coach from
the back and hit him with a thick iron stick, the
coach fell down and was taken to the hospital.
Coach: asked AA what the fuck is this?
AA : this is terbeat Renault 5...
Abu El
Abed at the Beach (3)
Abu El Abed and Abu Steif were at the beach:
AS: ya AA, lych hatet eyrak bill muy (why is
your dick in the water)
AA: aam bnyeek wehdee be ebrus (I'm
fucking a chick in Cypress)
Karate Kid
One day, like everyday, Abu El Abed was very horny.
Em El Abed was not satisfying him any moreÉ He
decided to call his friend Abu Steif:
AA: I am very horny, do you have any women
available?
AS: I don't have any women today, I only
have a man
AA: A man, I want a woman
AS: That is all what is available, take it or
leave itÉ
AA: OK, I'll take him
AS: Meet me at Ahweit El Ejeiz, and I will
introduce to him
AA goes to the Ahweit and meets the man. On
his way out to take the guy to his house, the
Chebeib started making remarks.
Chebeib: Chou Abu El Abed, ma3 chabeb hal
eyam (You're with men these days?)
The kid started kicking, karate style, the
crowd in the cafŽ and beat the shit out of them.
As they were walking in the street, the
Chebeib started saying:
Chebeib: Chou Abu El Abed, ma3 chabeb hal
eyam
The kid started kicking everyone and beat the
shit out of them.
When they reached AA's house, the porter
remarked:
Porter: Chou Abu El Abed, ma3 chabeb hal
eyam
The kid kicked the porter until he gave in.
When they finally got to AA's house, AA
asked the man to feel at home while he gave
Abu Steif a call.
AA: Ya AS, oltillo min rah iynik min (AS, did
you tell who is going to fuck the other?)
Adventures
in the Desert
An American soldiers that was in the Desert Storm fell
in Quick Sand. After a while a Bedouin walked by..
Soldier: Help, Help me out from here
Bedouin: I help you,,, I fuck you
Soldier: go away you fucking gay Bedouin
after a while another Bedouin passed
Soldier: Help, Help me out from here
Bedouin: I help you,,, I fuck you
Soldier cried: go away you fucking gay
Bedouin
After a few other Bedouins who passed by and
all wanted the same, the soldier was up to his
neck and was desperate. Suddenly Abu El
Abed passed by,,,,
Soldier: Help, Help me out from here, you
help me I'll let you fuck me!!
AA:"another Fucking GAY" (wa tobji caman
ya akhou al sharmoutah) and stepped on the
soldiers head and pushed it down.
The Blow
Job
On a visit to France Abu-El-Abed discovered the joy of
blow jobs. As soon as he got home, he called on
Em-El-Abed, got naked and told her: mossili yeh.(Suck
it)
EA: "walaw ya AA, chou hayda ?" (are you
serious AA ?)
AA: "moussili yeh 3am illik" (suck it I tell
you)
EA: "Tayeb, bas heik 7aff, khallini 7ott
chwayet 3assal"(OK, but let me put some
honey on it)
AA: "Tayeb" (OK)
EA: "Rouk', khallini 7ott choayet krema" (Let
me put some cream on it)
AA: "Yalla, 3ajleh" (OK, quick!!)
EA: "rou'k rou'k, khallini 7ott 7abbit fraise 3al
ras"(wait, let me put this strawberries on top)
EA:"chou AA, bbalech ?"(AA, do you want
me to start now ?)
AA: "La' filleh, ana b-balech :" (No, go away,
I'll start myself :)
Abu El Abed Goes to the Cinema (3)
Abu El Abed (AA) and Abu Steif (AS) went to the
Cinema. AS wanted to challenge AAÉ.
AS: I will give you $50 if you give a sahsouh
to this huge guy in front of us.
AA: No problemÉ
AA slammed the guy. The guy got very upset
and stood up to hit AA
AA: Sorry, sorry, I thought you were Tony
The big guy smiled and sat in his seat. Few
minutes later, AS challenged AA again.
AS: I will give you $100 this time if you give
another sahsouh to this huge guy in front of
us.
AA: No problemÉ
AA slammed the guy. The guy got very upset
and stood up to hit AA
AA: Sorry, sorry, I thought you were Tony
The big guy decided to change seats. Few
minutes later, AS challenged AA again.
AS: I will give you $200 this time if you give
another sahsouh to this huge guy sitting over
there.
AA went to the other side of the cinema and
gave the big guy a big sahsouh, and said:
AA: wla Tony, inta a3ed houn wa ana ma
3aref (Tony, you are sitting here and I did not
know)
Abu El
Abed Goes to Buy Condom
AA went to the pharmacy to buy a condom
AA: I want a condom
Pharmacist: what size you want?
AA: the biggest
Pharmacist: AA you should tell me the exact
size?
AA: but I don't know the exact size!
Pharmacist: get inside this small room where
you will find a large board (loh) with different
holes and numbers, check what is your (air)
size
AA goes inside the room and comes out after
1/2 hour with his right hand behind his back.
AA : betbeouh hal loh!(would you consider
selling this board!)
Abu El
Abed goes to Doctor to Check his Balls (2)
AA went to doctor for regular check up of his bidat
(balls)
Doctor: khair ya aa what do you feel today?
AA: ya dactor hasis ino bidteh el shmel
saghraneh (I feel my left ball becoming
smaller)
Doctor: shleh la nshoof ( take of to check you)
Doctor was holding AA'salls in his hand and
moving his fingers between both of them to
check them.
Meanwhile he received a phone call and had to
discuss important issue with a woman patient
as he was still "playing" with AA balls.
Doctor to Woman: You need to take a habbe
(pill) in the morning, a habbe in the afternoon,
and a habbe at night.
Woman: I don't understand
Doctor: I said to take a habbe (pill) in the
morning, a habbe in the afternoon, and a
habbe at night.
This went on for a while until the woman
understood. In the meanwhile, AA got very
horny, and asked the doctor:
AA: ya dactor allah yakhalleek, kaman habbe!
Abu El
Abed & his Cousin Abu Zakkour
Abu Zakkour (AZ) who lives in Tripoli, decided to visit
his cousin Abu El Abed in Basta.
AA invited his cousin for dinner. After dinner, AA
pointed out that there was only one bed in their house
hoping that AZ will go back to Tripoli. AZ was (saeel)
and said I'll sleep with you and EA.
AA told Ea: I will sleep on the right, you in
the middle and AZ on the other side!
EA: bas ya aa barkeh am billal w
nekneh?(what if he fucks me)
AA: mish ahsan ma y neekneh aneh!(better
than fucking me!)
Abu El
Abed Having a Date
On day AA entered a bar and saw a woman. He asked
here if she wanted to go out with him.
Woman: Never!!
AA: OK neuf heure ou neuf heure et demi
Abu El
Abed at the Airport
Abu El Abed decides to go visit Abu Steif in NY. After
checking his passport, the customs man decided to
investigate him.
They send him to a room where a beautiful woman lead
the interview.
Woman : Name?
AA : Abu El Abed.
Woman : From?
AA : Beirut.
Woman : Sex?
AA : Yes, good.
Woman : No, I mean What Sex, Male or
Female?
AA : Female good, male very good
Abu El Abed Decides to Commit
Suicide
AA lost one arm in an accident. Depressed, he decided
to throw himself from the roof of a fifteen stories
building.
Looking down, he could see a man without any arms
dancing. Stupefied to see this man still so happy, AA
regained hope and thought that there is a way out of his
misery.
He went down seeking the secret of this man happiness.
AA: You have lost two arms and are you so
happy to dance ?
Man: Skout Willow, no kidding. My ass is
itching and I cannot relieve myself!!!!
Abu El Abed Advising his Daughter
AA's Daughter: Dad I have a date with my
boyfriend tomorrow, but he told me to be
ready for a "romantic" evening. What does
that mean?
AA: I do not know what romantic means but
wash your butt just in case.
Abu El
Abed Wins the Lottery
Abu El Abed won the 20 million dollars lotto, the first
thing he does is call Em El Abed:
AA: Em El Abed, seret millionaire, jeye
ekhdek haddre halek (I am coming to take
you, get read)
EA: Lawen rayheen? bekhod tyeb chatawee
aw sayfee(where are we going? should I take
winter or summer cloths)
AA: Khede 'l chatawee wel sayfee, mrajja3ek
3ind beit immik (take winter and summer
cloths I am taking you back to your mother's
home).
Weekend in
Paris
AA ,Abu steif, and Abu Ali went to Paris for a weekend
for total sexual pleasure. The three agreed to tell each
other at the end of their trip of how many times they
were able to fuck.
Abu Ali started first: "I fucked 3 times the first
day, and 6 times the second, and 10 times on
the last day, I am now tired".
Abu Steif then said: "I fucked 10 times the
first day, 15 times the second, nd the last day
was a killer 30 times".
AA then said "on the last day.."
He then got interrupted by Abu Ali and Abu
Steif: " no, no AA, you should start from day
one"
AA then said "O.K. let me finish, like I said
on the third day ,I heard the woman tell me to
take my zibb out so she can go to the
bathroom"
Abu El
Abed's Swollen Testicle
AA once visited his doctor in the Basta El Tahta district.
Upon entering the examination room,
he started by telling the doctor
AA: Ya hakim a'andi bayda mwarrami bass ma
rah farjik illa ma toua'adni innak ma btoudhak.
(I have a swollen testicle, but I will not show it
unless you promise not to laugh)
Doctor: Walaw y Abu El Abed. Tabi'i inni ma
boudhak. (It is clear that I will no laugh)
AA started to take down his shirwal (pants) and
then lifted up something the size of a huge
water melon which he put on the examination
table with a loud "SPLASH". The doctor could
not hold himself from laughing.
AA (angry): A'ambtoudhak!?! Eh ma rah farjik
el tanyeh. (You laughed!?! I will not show you
the other one)
Abu El
Abed Tichbih on Brooklyn Bridge
Abu El Abed and Abu Steif were in New-York. One
evening, while crossing the Brooklyn bridge, they both
felt an urge to have a piss. They stopped on the side and
started pissing from the bridge.
AS: Ya AA kiss ikht hal may chou barde.
(How fucking cold the water is)
AA: Barde wo ghamika. (It is cold and deep)
Abu El
Abed Opens a Clinic
Abu Abed (AA) fatah clinic and posted a sign saying I
charge $ 100 per visit, but if I don't cure you I pay $
200
Abu Steif wanted to play a joke on AA, so he went to
the clinic and paid $ 100
AA: shu ishbak ya abu stief ?
AS: ma 3m ist3im (I lost taste)
AA: ya bint hati jar No 22 , he took one
spoon from the jar and gave it to Abu Steif.
AS: wilak ya abu abid haida khara..
AA: shufit rejja3 lak ( you got your tast back)
AS went back the next day, paid the $100 and
went in
AA: shu bak ?
AS: I lost memory
AA: Ya bint hati jar No 22
AS: Ya abu abid haida no 22 fi khara
AA: rouh rij3at el zakra (you got back your
memory)
AS went back the third day
AA: shu fi ?
AS: ma am bikdar neek (can't fuck).
AA: ya bint hati jar No22
AS: Abu El Abed shoof, iza badak ta3mini
khara ra neek immak
AA: shuft saar feek tneek ...
Abu El
Abed and Arguili
Abu El Abed comes home to his wife and takes off his
cloths. Abu el Abd said "Just do it"
AA: "houtty jamra ala rassi", (Put a piece of
Charcoal on my head)
EA: "What do you mean you will get burned"
As soon as she did it Abu El Abed said to her "
Arglini" "Smoke me".
Abu El
Abed at a Check Point
Abu El Abed (AA) drives from his home town,
somewhere in the mountains of Lebanon, to Beirut each
day to open up his small shop.
Each day, he must pass through an Army check point,.
and each day, the same soldier asks AA a riddle.
Soldier: "Ya Abu El-Abbad, shoo bie'mal
hayk, "vroom, vroom" ou be rouh 'a tariq"
(what goes "vroom, vroom" and goes on the
road)?"
AA: "wallow ya sidnah, haideh siyarah (that's
a car)".
Soldier: "eh, bus shoo, Mercedes ow BM?"
AA: it is a BM. He was allowed to pass.
On another occasion, the same soldier asked
A.A., "Ya Abu El-Abbad, shoo bie'mal hayk,
"remmmmm, remmmmm" ou be rouh'a tariq
(what goes "remmmmm remmmmm and goes
on the road)?"
AA: "wallow ya sidnah, heddah mot'cycle
(that's a motor cycle)"
Soldier: "eh, bus shoo, Honda ow Suzuki?"
AA guesses that it was a Honda and he was let
through.
On day, when the same soldier wanted to ask
another ridiculous question, AA interrupted
and said that this time it was his turn to ask the
soldier a question. The soldier agreed.
AA: "aysh 'endoo sha'r, reehtoo mettel samik,
ou bet leqee bayn jannab (what has hair,
smells like fish, and is found between
thighs/legs)?"
Soldier: "wallow ya Abu El Abed, heddah
kuss"
AA: "eh, bus kuss meen, kuss echktaq ow
kuss emmaq (yes, but whose pussy, your
sister's pussy or your mother's pussy)?"